This is something I wrote this during lunch recently when it was raining too hard go running. It's a little long for the email update so I put it on the Fridge Door Page itself. I hope y'all find it amusing. You can see I miss the days when I use to write for my college and grad school newspapers.

1) Your third grade piano teacher was right... practice makes perfect, so go to lots of parties (twist my arm).
2) Stay out late often, so your bedtime doesn't drift forward to say, 9:00pm, which naturally tends to happen as we get older. And even toss in an occasional all-nighter (anyone who can pull off one of those without getting messed up is a pro).
3) But still get your sleep (often during daylight hours) so you don't get sick.
4) If you already are sick, don't go out and party. Stay home, get well, and then hit it.
5) Never go from beer to hard liquor - only the other way around. And never mix dairy products with liquor.
6) Avoid Tylenol (Acetaminophen) for hangovers. It can damage your liver, which you really need for more important stuff (more partyage).
7) Don't drink mixed drinks or wine like it's Miller Lite.
8) Get to know the Chicago street grid (and more importantly, the CTA) like you were an urban planner.
8) Buy a car you can park safely on-street (i.e. not have get stolen or vandalized) in any neighborhood (except perhaps the Robert Taylor Homes). Valet parking wastes money better spent on beer.
9) Always bring an extra $20 for emergency cab fare and keep it someplace other than your wallet.
10) Live someplace (or near to someplace/something) that any cab driver in the city can find.
11) Throw big parties and invite EVERYONE (helps get you on a lot of other peoples' invite lists).
12) Always be courteous and respectful to law enforcement officers. These people can be cool, or ruin your day - your choice.
13) Plan your weeknights/weekends like your work schedule (use a calendaring tool such as Microsoft Outlook sync'd to a PDA such as Palm Pilot). And always include travel and contingency time.
14) Avoid warm beer like the plague.
15) Always reply to invites, even if it's to say you can't make it but wish you could.
16) Don't avoid events where you know hardly anyone, those are often the most fun as it forces you to meet new people plus no one's heard any of your stories yet. I've met some of the coolest people that way.
17) Always keep a mental list of places that serve hot dogs w/cheese fries, burritos, or pizza by the slice... after 2am.
18) Water and carbs are your friend on hangover mornings. Tabasco is not. And that slam water before going to bed thing really works.
19) Work out/play sports a lot (burns off all those alcohol and dining out calories).
20) Eat a healthy diet with lots of fruits and vegetables, like you're in training for a triathlon - partying is rough on your body and you need to be in top shape for it.
21) Never pressure/harass non-drinkers to drink. Then they'll hang with you too and they're the ones least likely to become rowdy or obnoxious as the evening wears on. Not to mention DESIGNATED DRIVERS ARE MONEY.
22) Cold pizza, the morning after a party, is the true Breakfast of Champions.
23) There's no shame in pre-partying if you're going to someplace where the drinks are obnoxiously expensive. Make your bar $$$'s go further.
24) Beer in kegs is half the cost (per ounce) of beer in cans (assume 24pk case is $15.50 and 1/2 barrel is $55).
25) Always bring extra business cards to give out to folks. Much more professional than writing your number on the back of a cocktail napkin and a lifesaver on those late night outings where, for some reason, you can't seem to recall what your phone number is.
26) Never do Century Club on an empty stomach. Pasta or bread are best for "last supper". And avoid drinking a lot before attempting a Century Club - this should be common sense but for some reason apparently is not.
27) Friends don't ever let friends "beer goggle". Even if it's the most hilarious thing you've ever seen. This applies to your women friends too, who have been some of my best "wing men".
28) Tip your waitstaff. And feel free to throw in a little extra for exceptionally good service. It will be appreciated.
29) Check the battery charge remaining on your cell phone frequently. And get one with a vibrating ring as many places (like those with live bands) you'll never hear it ring (thus possibly miss other fun partyage opportunities).
30) Halligan (2274 N. Lincoln) has pints for $2 every day of the week. This month it's Blue Moon.
31) 350ml is the perfect amount of liquor to put into a 2-Liter soft drink bottle for mixed drinks on the go.
32) Never beer bong the Michigan Track Team's "Yucca" drink. Don't chug the stuff, either. And for that matter, keep it away from an open flame.
33) Kegs leftover from a party can last several days in the summer if kept reasonably cold, and over a week in the winter (stored outdoors).
34) A kickball game, with friends, with cocktails, in the snow, is probably the most fun you'll have since becoming and adult, after which you'll probably swear off "Pictionary" and "Jenga" for good.
35) You don't necessarily have to be sitting in the bleachers to do "Beer-an-Inning" at Wrigley Field.
36) Avoid making plans for AFTER pub crawls. There is a high probability of not making it.
37) Unless you weigh more than 400 lbs., never do more than four shots (in addition to the obligatory drink/bar) on a 12 Bars of Christmas Pub Crawl.
38) Never date a girl who can outdrink you.
39) Your true friends are the ones who will stay late after a party and help you clean up. Not to mention help finish off the keg to make sure you don't commit the mother of all party fouls - dumping it.
39a) (added 8/8/2003) It is a $225 ticket/fine to drink open alcohol on the steps of the Wisconsin State Capitol building. Just thought you'd like to know in case you were contemplating doing just that, right now.
40) And last but not least, there's bad beer and there's free beer, but there's no such thing as bad free beer.